Your Husband: Assistant or Companion?

It’s happened again.   Someone in an audience asked a great question.  And now, over a week later, I can’t get it out of my mind.

Woody and I were speaking at a Mom to Mom Couples’ Night in Massachusetts which was followed by a brief Q&A.   We had talked about the huge challenges of Woody’s schedule (as a medical oncologist) in our parenting.  I mentioned how much I had wished Woody could be home earlier in the evening.

Afterward a man in the audience asked,” What were you looking for in wanting your husband home?  Were you looking for an assistant?   Or a companion?”  Great question!  After a moment’s thought, I answered, “yes—and yes.”  Both.  I really needed both.

Certainly I needed help at the end of those long days with three kids five and under.  Every mom reading this will resonate.    But I also longed for adult company.  No, more—I longed for Woody’s company.  He’s a really great guy—intelligent, thoughtful, interesting, and just plain fun to be with.  And he makes me laugh.   After all, I married him because I like to be with him.  I still do.  Yes, even after over 40 years of marriage!

But the question got me thinking.  And I asked myself another question: Did my husband know, in those days, how I longed for his companionship as well as his help with the kids?  Does he know I still do?

How about your husband?  Does he know you like being with him?  Does he know that your need to have him home is not solely for parenting assistance?  That you see him as much more than just the “rescue parent” at the end of the day?

I’m just asking.  It’s a hunch, but I’ll bet his knowing that could make a big difference in your marriage.   Let me know what happens when you tell him!