What Do You Wish He Knew?

Good news, girlfriends: It’s not January anymore. But the bad news? It’s February.

February in Wisconsin is generally not a big improvement over January in Wisconsin. This is true, apparently, across the country. I’ve been hearing about snow and ice and Mom to Mom “snow/ice days” in some of the most unlikely places.

There is, however, some good news about February. I’ve always preferred February to January. For one thing, it’s the month of Valentine’s Day. I really like Valentine’s Day. And it’s beautiful here today: light fairy-flake snow is falling gently in our yard and transforming the ordinary into something exquisitely beautiful.

Also—much bigger news—this year it is also the due-date-month for our fifth grandchild. He’s not due till February 16, but today marks the beginning of the two-weeks-before-due-date window, so who knows? I could be going to New Hampshire any day now to hang out with Soren and help Bjorn and Abby with their precious new little boy. Can’t wait!

Here’s some other news about February. Woody and I are preparing to teach a seminar at a big men’s conference this Saturday (“No Regrets” at Elmbrook Church here in Brookfield) on “Keeping the Romance Alive in Marriage.” Why is that good news? Two reasons: First, we have to practice what we’re getting ready to preach. :) And second, I love doing things like this together with Woody.

But, here’s where you come in—note the title of this blog. I need your help. Being one of the only women scheduled to be in the building with thousands of men, I want to represent all of us well. And I want to give these husbands some help in understanding what “keeping romance alive” in marriage looks like from the wife’s point of view.

So, here’s my question: What would you like your husband to know about your perspective in keeping romance alive in your marriage? What would you like him to say? Or do? Or not say or do? If this feels too personal, feel free to generalize: What would you like men to know about a woman’s perspective on what romance and passion look like in a marriage?

The conference is only a few days away, so rapid response would be appreciated. And even if you don’t get a chance to respond, I’m thinking this might be a good question for you to ponder anyway—and perhaps discuss with your husband. It could be good preparation for Valentine’s Day.

Speaking of which, Woody plans to do a little experiment with these men as an opener. First, he’s going to ask them: “How many of you know what tomorrow is?” (Note to any women who haven’t heard: Sunday, February 7, is Superbowl Sunday.) Guess how many hands will go up?! Then he plans to ask them: “How many of you know what one week from tomorrow is?” Now girls, you all know what that is.

I wonder what that show of hands will look like...

Stay tuned. And thanks ahead of time for any help you can give me.

A GREAT Bible Story Book--for Them and You!

You know how I love books. Maybe you don’t know how I love children’s books. I could get lost in the children’s section at Barnes and Noble for hours on end. Maybe it goes back to my lifelong love of stories. Or my Reading Specialist background. But now I have grandchildren, so I have a great excuse to disappear for hours into children’s stories.

But here’s a book that is absolutely wonderful for both kids and parents (and grandparents). And if you don’t have kids at home or grandchildren, borrow a neighbor kid or niece or nephew and read it to them. Or, do what I do when no grandchildren are around and just sit on the couch and read it all by yourself! Preferably out loud, because the writing is so beautiful.

It’s a Bible story book, which makes it even better: The Jesus Storybook Bible, written by Sally Lloyd-Jones, a best-selling children’s author. And you can tell she is the best kind of children’s author, because the writing is captivating for both children and adults.

The stories sing. They are very creatively told in language kids understand. Some of them are actually funny. The author obviously has a sense of humor—and so, I believe, does our God, author of THE STORY. And they have engaging titles like “The Scary Sleepover” (Daniel in the Lions’ Den), “The Man Who didn’t Have Any Friends[None]” (Zaccheus), and “Operation No More Tears” (Isaiah).

Best of all, the underlying theology is sound. The author attends Dr. Timothy Keller’s church (Redeemer Presbyterian) in New York City. I know this because she gives him credit right at the beginning. I wasn’t at all surprised to learn this because the grace-filled Gospel he preaches informs every page of the book. (BTW, look for his name to surface in more book recommendations to come—I’m currently reading two Tim Keller books.)

The theme of the entire book is captured in the title--The Jesus Storybook Bible--and in the subtitle: Every Story Whispers His Name. The Bible is shown to be the story of God’s Great Rescue plan in sending Jesus. The drama is all about God’s 
“Never Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love,” as Jones often reiterates. It reminds me of Philip Yancey’s profound observation: “…the Bible from Genesis 3 to Revelation 22 tells the story of a God reckless with desire to get His family back.” (The Jesus I Never Knew, p. 268)

What better time to begin telling that story than when our kids are young? I read somewhere that this book is recommended for children ages 4-7, but I’d give it a far broader range. My 3-year-old grandson is mesmerized by it, my son uses it with high school kids in Young Life, and parents tell me they love reading it with their kids. Grandparents, you’ll love it as well!

It makes a great gift. I wish I could give it to every woman in Mom to Mom. I’d love to see them all reading it with their children—and giving Dad a turn, too! It’s such a compelling way to introduce the great themes of God’s Word. I did give it to two neighbor families for Christmas—a start.

It’s available pretty much everywhere—online or in bookstores. Treat yourself to the “Deluxe Version” which comes with the complete book on audio CD’s, and you’ll love it even more. The stories are read by British actor David Suchet (“Hercule Poirot” in the Agatha Christie mysteries on PBS). You really need to hear him as the voice of the serpent in the Garden, Daniel’s conniving friends—and the voice of God at creation! When we first got the CD’s, Woody and I found ourselves fighting over who got to have them in which car!

And oh, how could I forget the illustrations? Recently Bjorn and Abby were telling me how Soren (he’s 3) sat on his dad’s lap during a meeting they were holding at their house and paged through nearly the entire Jesus Storybook by himself. This made me go back and look at the illustrations (by Jago, an award-winning illustrator) and realize anew how compelling they are.

I know I’m kind of over-the-top in this recommendation. I warned you how obsessed I am with stories…

BTW, just in case any of you are wondering (as I was) if the author is related to the great preacher/commentator Dr. Martin Lloyd-Jones, I googled her and found out—to my surprise—that she is not. But I think she should be!



January: Not Quite So Bad After All?

January.

What is it about January? Such a hard month. The party’s over. Christmas is a memory. The family has left. After 3 wonderful weeks of glorious chaos in our home, with various families (our kids and grandkids) coming and going, the house is eerily empty. And quiet. Very very quiet. Way too quiet, if you ask me.

And it’s cold.

Really really cold. January is not Wisconsin’s best month. Probably not the best month in most states, even without this year’s record-breaking cold.

And then there’s the news this month. Oh, the heartbreaking stories and images out of Haiti. We all weep with our brothers and sisters there. We all (I hope) pray for them and for all the relief workers pouring in. And we all (I surely hope) give what we can to forward relief efforts in this bleeding, broken country.

But amidst all this, I’m discovering January’s not all bad, either. Here’s my very random list of things that make January not-quite-so-bad-after-all.

January is a good month for:

1. Memories. How I savor the memories of having everyone home this year for Christmas. Even Lars—YAY HURRAY! I loved have the house chock-a-block full of pack’n plays, high chairs, wall-to-wall toys, and kids singing and dancing (and yes, even fighting, if you can imagine my grandchildren not always being perfect sharers!) I cherish the memories. And thank God!
2. Restoring order. As much as I hate putting away Christmas stuff, there is something satisfying to this first-born half-German recovering perfectionist in getting the house put back together again.
3. Throwing things away. Some things it feels good to throw away—like stale Christmas cookies we didn’t quite finish. A few (very few) less calories consumed—and added to my hips?
4. Working out. It’s good to get back to the gym. Crucial, in fact. Fast walking has a way of re-ordering my thought life.
5. Music. I find music so restorative. I love the music of Christmas! But as I put away my Christmas CD’s, the old favorites come back. And, thanks to my kids, I have great music on my iPod to listen to when I work out. I especially love listening to music Lars told me encouraged him during the long months in Afghanistan. Hey, if it works in Afghanistan, surely it can work in Wisconsin!
6. Buying warm slippers. Somehow my house seems colder since the kids and grandkids left. But I just went out and bought warmer slippers. TWO pairs—they were practically giving them away in the January sales.
7. January sales. The slippers just reminded me. Another good thing about January. It does feel good, doesn’t it, to get 70% off now and then?
8. Reconnecting with my husband. Now it’s just him and me. The kids are gone, I’m not traveling this month, and it’s just him and me. A good thing, actually, as I have a really great husband. I realized recently that I haven’t written much about Woody in this blog. More to come in 2010…
9. Listening to God. Wow! Linda? Listening? That’s not a thing easily done. But I find I’m learning to do it better in my quiet house. It will be so interesting to discover HIS plans for 2010 instead of rushing ahead to make my own.
10. Being reminded that God goes before. 2010 seems like such a blank slate, in a way. Of course my calendar’s not totally blank. But there’s something about a new year that makes me both nervous and excited. I loved being reminded in Streams in the Desert on January 14 that “…God is out in front. He is in our tomorrows, and it is tomorrow that fills people with fear. Yet God is already there. All the tomorrows of our life have to pass through Him before they can get to us.”
    

Having said all this, I’m still not a huge fan of January. But I’m discovering it’s not quite so bad after all.

He’s Home!

Rejoice with us: Our son is home from Afghanistan! On December 10, Lars arrived home to the eager arms of his beautiful and beloved wife and children in North Carolina. And as Bengt told me excitedly, “When I saw Daddy, I ran and ran and hugged him so hard I knocked him over!”

I feel as if I could do the same thing when I see him. He’s home! He’s Home! He’s home! It’s almost a constant chant at the back of my mind every day.

And tomorrow, Lars and family will be arriving here—at our home in Wisconsin! Woody and I are so excited we are like two little kids. Our whole family will be together for Christmas! Lars, Kelly, Bengt, and Hannah come tomorrow, followed in the next few days by Bjorn, Abby, and Soren from New Hampshire, and then Erika, Richie, and Gabriella from Ireland. We are grateful beyond words.

I woke up with a singing heart. And then I cried. Because there’s something else going on today. Yes, we are making final preparations for the much anticipated arrivals—big food shopping to do, baby equipment to be borrowed, and toys to be gathered from the corners of the house where they’ve been tucked away since our grandchildren’s last visit.

But today, December 19, is also the two-year anniversary of my mom’s Homegoing. Two years ago today, in Ft. Myers, Florida, with my brother and me and her sister and husband at her side, Mom went to be with Jesus. She was 84 years old. I was hugely blessed to have such a wonderful mom all these years. But still, I wasn’t ready to let her go. I knew I had to. I knew she would be better off with Jesus than in her hospice room, lovely as it was. But still, I didn’t want to let her go.

And now, two years later, I miss her every day.

I lay in bed this morning thinking of all the mixed emotions of this day—the anticipation, the joy and gratitude, the sheer happiness; yet the deep down sadness I still feel as well. And suddenly I realized something. That continual mantra at the back of my mind (“He’s home, He’s home, He’s home”) has multiple meanings for me this Christmas.

At this time of year we celebrate the coming of One who came and made his home with us for a little while. But this was not His Real Home. He died and rose again and returned to His Real Home that it might also become our Real Home. So because He’s home, my mom is, too.

Time now to go and get ready. My heart is singing! He’s home! HE’S home! And she’s home, too—along with my dad and Woody’s parents and so many many others we love. Good reason to celebrate, don’t you think?

Merry Christmas!

Waiting, Preparing, and Lighting Candles Wherever You Are

“Light your candles quietly, such candles as you possess, wherever you are.”

These words were written from a small cell in a Nazi prison camp by Alfred Delp, a Jesuit priest who would shortly thereafter be hanged as a traitor for his opposition to Hitler. I recently came across this quote in a book of Advent readings and I asked myself: If Alfred Delp could write about “The Shaking Reality of Advent” in such a time from such a place, what about us, this December 2009, here in America?

I feel very pensive about Advent this year. I think it is partially because Advent is a season of waiting, of preparation, and of lighting of candles. It is a time when we prepare to celebrate The Arrival. The Arrival of a baby whose birth changed everything. Absolutely everything. Everywhere. Forever. Even in a Nazi prison cell. Or in Afghanistan. Or Iraq. Or an economic downturn in the USA. A Very Big Arrival.

On a smaller scale in our house, even as we prepare to celebrate that Very Big Arrival, we are also awaiting and preparing for a very different kind of arrival—the arrival of our son Lars home to his family in North Carolina sometime very soon—by December 10, we hope. And then his arrival with his family, as well as the arrival of Bjorn and Erika and their families, to celebrate Christmas with us here in Brookfield. We are counting down the days. We are getting ready to celebrate!

But I am also thinking, as we prepare to rejoice in Lars’ homecoming and the celebration of Christmas in our home, of the many troops who will celebrate Christmas away from their families. And the many families who will be missing a son or daughter, husband or wife, sibling or parent around their tables this year.

And I’m thinking of the stories I’ve heard just this week from people for whom this Advent—this Christmas—seems hard and dark and uncertain. A marriage is on the rocks. A job has just vanished. Finances are tighter than ever. A battle is raging, despite the best professional help available, with anxiety and depression and fear.

The world can be a very dark place indeed. But is that any reason not to light the candles of Advent? Oh, no. I think it may be all the more reason to light the candles. To be reminded of the Light that shone down from heaven on that Bethlehem night so long ago. The Light which shines down into our hearts as we open them to Him. That “true light, who gives light to everyone…” (John 1:9)

Dietrich Bonhoeffer once compared Advent to a prison cell “in which one waits and hopes and does various nonessential things…but is completely dependent on the fact that the door of freedom has to be opened from the outside.” And that is the story of Christmas: God opened the door! He gave. He came. He comes.

If that isn’t reason to light the candles, I don’t know what is.

Thank YOU!

This week I have been thinking about people I am thankful for. There’s a very long list!

But here’s what I just this morning realized: The list is even longer than I had thought since it includes—you! What I mean is that it includes hundreds of moms that I get to meet when I travel and speak. Some tell me that they read this blog (thank you!).

And here’s what happens when I travel and meet moms: I am so inspired by your stories. I am absolutely blown away by your commitment, creativity, and courage. I see it in your eyes when you talk about your families. I hear it in your voices when you share your stories. I feel it in your body language when you bring your children to meet me.

Whether you are sharing your stories about being a single parent, about your husband’s repeated deployments, about your long struggle with cancer, about the joys and challenges of parenting your beautiful little girl with Downs syndrome—or just the day-to-dayness of being a mom, I see something in you that I admire beyond words.

It causes me to give thanks—to God and for you.

I just got back from a super-fun Texas road trip. And the stories linger…and they blend with stories from the last six months or so of travel. There are way too many to share right now. Especially since this is Thanksgiving week and I know you have a whole lot to do besides read this blog!

But I do want to thank you for the way your thanks to me for Mom to Mom’s ministry in your life encourages me. You encourage me because my prayer for Mom to Mom is always that we will pour encouragement into moms and point them Godward. It is a great gift for me when I hear that is happening.

Just three quick examples:

Thank you to the New Hampshire mom who told me that she was so encouraged by some of the quotes from Mom to Mom that she wrote them all over the wall of the room she seemed to find herself spending the most time in—her bathroom! She even showed me a picture to prove it. And believe me, it looked really cool! (She obviously has an artist’s touch).

Thank you to the Texas mom who told me, “Mom to Mom saved my life—and possibly the life of my son!” She went on to tell me that her baby had such bad colic that he cried all the time, night and day. Her husband traveled during the week so she was mostly alone with this baby. “Sometimes I felt as if I just could not survive,” she said. “Being a mom was so very different from what I had expected. But then I would come to Mom to Mom on Wednesdays, and it would get me though the rest of the week till my husband came home Friday night. My son finally outgrew the colic—and now I’m loving being a mom!”

Thank you especially to the precious New Mexico mom who has struggled with cerebral palsy and told me: “This year at Mom to Mom was the first time in my life that I truly felt God’s love—at deeper levels than ever before in my life.” She paused and added, “And you know, Linda, when you know God loves you—really loves you—it changes everything!”

It does, doesn’t it? Change everything—to know God truly, deeply loves you and your family unconditionally and forever?

That’s my prayer for each of you this Thanksgiving: That you will feel His love. And you will know that this is the best reason of all to give thanks!

I echo Paul’s words in Philippians 1:3-4: “I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for you, I always pray with joy…”

Thank you! And Happy Thanksgiving!

The Gratitude Factor

It feels like a conspiracy of some sort. A Holy Spirit conspiracy, that is. The good kind. Everywhere I look, I am surrounded by reminders of the immense value of gratitude—reminders of my need to foster a grateful heart.

It started when I turned the calendar to a new month: November. November has always been my month of thanks-giving. Years ago when I led a local Mom to Mom group, November was my month for writing each Titus 2 leader a note highlighting particular things about her for which I was grateful. I was amazed every year at how good it felt to do that. It was such a reminder of God’s many blessings in giving us the leaders we had. It was also a reminder of the crazy, wonderful, diverse gifts of the Body of Christ. I love how different we all are!

Yet I seem to need November. Maybe it’s because I can be prone to self-pity—especially in regard to how far away all our kids and grandkids live. It seems to hit me the hardest when I’ve just returned from a visit with some of them. Woody and I just got back from a great weekend with Bengt (4) and Hannah (6 months) and Kelly (their mom) in North Carolina and even got to talk with Lars (their dad) from Afghanistan. I am so grateful—I really am.

But we did have to come home. And home (in Wisconsin) is a long way from North Carolina—and an even longer way from Afghanistan! So this week was somehow lonelier than usual. I could feel a pity party coming on.

Funny, isn’t it, how easily I forget how much I have to be thankful for (wonderful kids and grandkids, for example—and the opportunity to see them fairly often).

As I said, I need November. And God, it seems, had arranged more reminders for me this week. There’s my sign in the kitchen, beautifully done by a Mom to Mom mom: It says simply “Give thanks.” And it reminds me of a sign I read about in a missionary’s home which put it this way: “Try giving thanks.” Hmmm. Good idea!

God’s reminders kept coming to me—often from the most unsuspected places. I was working on a talk about “Three Gifts That Keep on Giving.” Guess what one of those is: a thankful heart. Then, in preparing for a Bible study on Colossians, what should I find but Paul talking about “overflowing with thanks.” Paul, of all people. Writing as a prisoner, probably chained 24/7 to a Roman guard. According to one commentator, Paul uses that word translated “overflowing” some 26 times.

And he didn’t even have grandchildren!

It seems, according to Paul—and also in my own experience—that a thankful heart leads to joy. The deep-down kind of joy that transcends circumstances. The kind you can feel even on the lonely days, the overwhelmed days, the “down” days.

I’ve seen it happen in my own life. Here’s one way it works: when I begin to feel sad, lonely, or disappointed, or when I am overcome with missing my mom, or when I am feeling way too far away from family and friends, or when I feel myself letting worry overtake prayer (instead of the other way around), then I take a “sad-glad” walk. For the first part of the walk, I tell God all the things I am sad about. You’d be surprised at what a good listener He is. And very patient! Then I make the choice to tell Him all the things I am thankful for. I am amazed every time how long that list is. It often becomes a very long walk!

Now this may seem backward to you. And theologically speaking, I think it is. We really should begin with praise and thanksgiving. But somehow, on certain days, I find that venting—getting all that sadness out—frees me up to truly rejoice in the many blessings God has given me. And how many there are.

It’s like the old hymn my mom used to play so beautifully: “Count Your Blessings.” It’s true, isn’t it? “Count your blessings, name them one by one; and it will surprise you what the Lord has done!” It always does—surprise me, that is.

You can see why I need November.